Being A Mother

Eleven years ago I had my first child. Man it makes me sound old when I say it like that. It seems just yesterday I was bringing her home from the hospital. I was pondering this the other day. How different it was then compared to now with my new little one. Not just the obvious things like how much younger I was then. Man, my body bounced back a lot easier back then. But mostly friendships and where I was in my life. Eleven years ago being a new mom, home all day with a baby, was, well, rather lonely and boring. I remember one time being on the computer and feeling guilty that I wasn't down on the floor playing with my beautiful baby, who would just lay there most of the time. I was very lonely. I desperately wanted friends and to go places. I did have friends, but non that I would really do anything with. I met my best friend Brittany two years later, and she would always comment how I would want to go places all of the time. I did. Want to go places all of the time. I would do anything to get out of the house. But I didn't really have any friends to go anywhere with. It wasn't until I had my second child that I really had friends to go anywhere with. And did we ever go places.  My house rarely got clean. But it wasn't from the baby, obviously...it was from two adults. I can't believe I'm actually admitting this. But its the truth, and I know a lot of you out there can relate. Ok, back to my point. Flash forward eleven years. I have my fourth child, a boy. Five year gap between him and his brother. I have some awesome friends. No, I have amazing friends. When someone wants to do something I sort of cringe inside. I don't want to go anywhere. Is that bad? What's wrong with me? I used to be all about the parties, the outings, the dressing up. Now I'm about staying in my yoga pants, laying on the couch, and the thought of going out sounds exhausting! Does that happen to you? I don't feel lonely anymore. Is that because I have more friends? Or is it because I'm more comfortable with who I am? I'd love to hear what others have to say about this. My best friends used to tell me how I was up to doing things, and I was such a fun mom because I was always doing something and I was always so laid back. I'm not laid back. I don't know if I ever was. But I'm glad someone thought that. Maybe I should be more of that mom now, the one I was way back then. Maybe I was more fun. who knows? One thing I do know. One thing that I have come to learn over these past eleven years. Motherhood is the most wonderful job in the entire world! I'm not perfect. I have a TON of things that I need to improve on. I don't get everything right, and I surely don't have the perfect house or perfect children. But I love them more than anything in this entire world. I would do anything for them. Some times I think I'm on their side too much, well, according to my husband. I wouldn't trade my stressful, hectic life for anything in this world. Even though its a tough job, I would do it all over a million times again. Nothing is more rewarding than being a mother. I'm learning as I go, but man, what a ride!